apologies like feathers in the wind
by Griever11
Summary: "We're home," Castle whispered, his voice like silk in her ear. Soothing. The only good thing left in the world. "Where we started, do you remember?" - AU, future fic. Caskett.


AU. Some time in the future.

Also, I made a playlist of songs that I recommend playing in the background while reading this one shot. The link is on my Twitter account, or you can look up the playlist on Spotify: open . spotify (dot com) /user/1241364569/playlist/6VxuaZW0dwTpnPfIY19PMd

Alternatively, you can just listen to the track 'Dr. Ford' from the Westworld Season 1 soundtrack.

* * *

apologies like feathers in the wind

The air around them was thick with dust and dirt. Bits of ash floated through the space around them, gray and lifeless, remnants of the destruction that had taken place all those months ago.

Gravel crunched beneath their feet as they picked their way through what used to be New York. There was nothing left of the city they once called home; nothing but rubble and ashes and the scent of fear and abandonment.

"Home sweet home," Castle murmured, shattering the silence. There was no warmth in his voice, just bleak sadness.

Her fingers curled around his wrist, anchoring herself to him. Sharing the despair.

"We got here in time," she responded, breathing hard, struggling through the injuries she'd accumulated from being on the run for so long. Every part of her ached and she longed to lie down and fall asleep for years. But this first. She had come this far, she was going to see it through.

To the end.

"Hey, I recognize this." Castle stopped her, a hand on her shoulder. "I think that's..."

She nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. She felt it too, familiarity coursing in her veins as if she had never left. As if they had been transported back in time. "Yeah, I think it is."

Right at the edge of the destruction, the ground gave way to a crater so large they couldn't see past the other side of it. The bomb must have made first impact right there, right in the center of New York, decimating everything else in it's wake.

She struggled to find her voice, hating the way it cracked as she asked the question that weighed so heavy in both their minds. "Do you think it's still there?"

"I don't think so, Beckett." But Castle was already holding his hand out to her, always there, a steady presence by her side. "We can still look. For old time's sake."

She shot him a watery smile, gratitude washing over her. Nodding, she closed her fingers around his, accepting his help.

Hand in hand, they made their way to the crater, only stopping when the ground groaned beneath their feet, threatening to crumble away.

Peering over the side of the gaping chasm, their gaze followed the slope downwards that led into darkness, trying to see if they could recognize anything from the rubble.

They found what they were looking for at the same time.

The damaged wall, loose bricks and the splinters of wooden beams, slivers of glass and debris. It would have looked like nothing to anyone else, but to them...

Her grip around his hand tightened. Heart clenching, she had to look away as she steadied her breathing. The mangled sign that had the big '12' emblazoned on it was all that remained of her precinct.

She hadn't been back since they dropped the bomb, far too worried about the radiation and the soldiers that might have still been around. She should have. She should have _come home._

Overcome with grief, she fell to her knees, ignoring the jarring pain that shot up her spine. Castle was quick to catch her, strong arms folding her into him, cradling her body against the solid build of his own.

The wind howled around them as if it sensed her pain. Dead leaves rustled on the ground, flying away into the distance. There was nothing left. Nothing but cement and stone and memories that were quickly fading.

The moon was high in the sky, bright against the stark blackness. Stars glittered overhead, like tiny explosions being set off around the universe. A beautiful last night on Earth.

They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, her back to his chest, both dealing with the reality of what they were seeing before them in their own way. She was sobbing, chest heaving, and Castle hugged her tighter.

"We're home," Castle whispered, his voice like silk in her ear. Soothing. The only good thing left in the world. "Where we started, do you remember?"

She coughed, sniffled, and nodded vehemently. Of course she remembered. Nothing could take that away from her. "Rooftop. You were an ass."

He chuckled, the movement jostling her in his embrace. "Yeah, I was."

"Alexis was so cute," she recalled, smiling at the hazy memory of better times. But Castle stiffened around her, muscles tensing and she felt him create space between them. She sighed berated herself for being so stupid.

Beckett pushed away from him, gritting her teeth as her wounds pulled. On all fours, she turned around and knelt before Castle. Her hands stroked down his cheeks, willing him to look at her.

"She's still your daughter, Castle."

"She chose her side. It wasn't ours."

Her heart shattered for him all over again, just like it did when Alexis made her decision to join the Alliance. He'd been inconsolable for a long time, determined to look for her to try to change her mind. Days turned to weeks which turned to months and eventually he gave up.

Castle gave up on Alexis.

It broke him.

"She chose to survive," she said leaning forward to touch her forehead to his. She wanted to soothe him, wipe the pain from his eyes. "She chose to _live_."

It was nothing he hadn't heard before. They have had this argument a million times. "You didn't leave Jim."

"And look where that got him," she snapped. An emotional reflex that she immediately regretted. She blinked back tears, ignored the flash of pain that came with the memory. "It got him dead. My dad is _dead_ , Castle."

He finally looked at her, stunned at the vehemence in her voice. He softened at her words, regret coloring his features.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up," he murmured. He meant it, she knew. They were both suffering and taking it out on each other. Nothing new. They would get over it.

A loud beep startled them both and they broke apart. Castle glanced at his wrist, frowning at the display on his watch.

"Time."

They got up to their feet, Beckett having to make more of an effort than Castle. He steadied her, an arm around her shoulders, the other reaching across to twine their fingers together.

"Time," she echoed.

They looked back at the crater, side by side, nothing but the moon illuminating the vast space around them.

"I'm sorry we never..." Castle faltered, and then cleared his throat as he huddled closer. Took a deep breath in. "I'm sorry we never got to be. Properly."

Oh, sweet man.

"But we did, Rick. Two years on the run. A story for the generations," she said around a rueful smile. "Rebels against the Man. A story of hope."

"Aren't I supposed to be the one with the silver linings in this relationship?"

"Guess you're rubbing off on me," she said as she smiled at him.

His watch beeped again and when he looked down at it, Beckett's fingers closed around the timepiece, obscuring the display from his view.

"Don't need it anymore," she murmured as she brushed her hand over his wrist, taking the watch off. She let it fall from her fingers onto the ground, landing with a puff of dust and sand.

She looked back up at him and swiped the tears falling free from his face with her thumbs. "We're okay, Castle. We made it."

Far off in the distance, they heard a rumble of noise approaching. Like thunder on a stormy night, except they hadn't had rain in almost a year.

Beckett steeled herself for what was coming. Castle was shaking, panic written all over his face. There was a sense of urgency in the air now, increasing as the rumbling got louder.

"I... I never told you, Kate," he whispered, voice shaking with emotion. "How much I-"

"But I know. I already know Castle. I always did."

A pinprick of light bloomed along the horizon.

Beckett took his hand, brought it up to her chest and turned away from the light to face him. "Everything I ever wanted, is right here with me. Right now. You're all I ever needed," she declared.

He opened his mouth to respond but she silenced him. Needed one last thing from him.

When she kissed him, the world around them exploded.

* * *

End.


End file.
